In a few short months we will be coming up on holiday season. At the beginning on the holiday season many people have to ask themselves which route to take. Do they throw everything out the window and eat whatever they want in whatever amount they want and start again in January? Or do they restrict even more to avoid the “holiday weight gain” and set extreme food rules?
Do you ever find yourself choosing between two similar options?
Imagine you are going out to eat with friends. You usually plan ahead and look at the menu to ensure you know what to order, but not this time. You get to the restaurant and you’re extremely hunger and feeling overwhelmed about food choices. You are looking at different entrees that sound appealing and can’t convince yourself to order the “healthier option”.
You end up ordering something “off plan” from your diet. After several delicious bites the hunger starts to subside and reality sets in that you didn’t follow the plan… You feel defeated. Now what?
What type of things are you saying to yourself? What thoughts are running through your head? How do you feel?
One question I love to ask is - would you say these things out loud to a friend that made an off plan food choice?
Many times the voice in our head is a very harsh critic. How can we overcome this?
In a world of extremes, I want to talk about finding our place in the middle when it comes to food. There is a happy medium between food restriction and “free-for-all” eating.
There seems to be only be two sides of the story when it comes to eating - complete food freedom or fad dieting, but that's not the reality.
Food freedom or “free-for-all” eating may look like (at least to someone without vast nutrition education): - not focusing on nutrition or trying to change yourself - eat whatever you want - not exercising any discipline/self-control around food
- feelings of shame for wanting to lose weight or change your body
Fad dieting looks like:
- avoiding whole food groups: carbs, sugar, fat
- extreme calorie restrictions
- creating extreme food rules
- strict timing for meals
- punishment (starvation or extreme exercise) when going off plan
- fear of certain foods or eating patterns
Both of these extremes have their pitfalls.
Food freedom, although it sounds “freeing”, is simply not smart in terms of nutrition. What we eat matters! We need to ensure we are eating a balanced diet, getting proper nutrition and fueling our bodies so that they can function at their best.
Fad dieting is unsustainable and unrealistic, can lead to disordered eating patterns and may only leave you feeling discouraged.
So, how do we find a balance somewhere in the middle?
Since restriction seems to carry a negative connotation to most people, I want to introduce a new word to this topic - boundaries.
There is a difference between restrictions and boundaries, at least how they seem to be portrayed in our society.
Restriction - Strict food rules; DOs and DON’Ts around food or exercise; all or nothing or black and white mindset.
Boundaries - understanding the benefits and draw backs of decisions in a logical way. Avoiding the emotional arguments in either direction. Respecting your overall well-being and wanting what is best for your mental and physical health out of love for ourselves, our bodies and our health.
It matters where your thoughts are coming from and what the motivation is behind your actions. Rather than approaching a situations where we find room for improvement with an attitude of: - I hate my body and therefore can’t eat any dessert.
Think:
- Will my future self thank me for the decision I’m making in this moment?
Restricting out of hate/frustration/punishment leads to binging, anxiety, stress and overwhelm around food
Setting boundaries out of love for yourself and care of your body leads to a feeling of empowerment and confidence when making food choices
We must reassess our thoughts around food. The answer is not to throw all of your knowledge about food and nutrition out the window, but to utilize it in a gentle way, allowing for surprises or imperfect decisions.
Now I know what some of you are thinking… There can't be a middle ground. Food freedom is the only way to avoid diet mentality.
But let’s consider this:
We limit ourselves (or set boundaries) from things every single day…
We set boundaries in our relationships with others
We limit how much money we spend
We set boundaries on the number of work hours we put in every week
We limit the amount of time we mindlessly scroll social media
We set boundaries on how often we go shopping in a month
We restrict certain things for our own good - for our personal life, for the sake of our finances or our family, etc. why do we think food must be different?
Setting restrictions/boundaries is not inherently evil. We must do it in a loving way and not as a punishment.
Health goals are okay
It’s good to set boundaries around food/health for the sake of honoring your bodies needs and not out of hate.
It’s okay (and might I say, important) to be able to remind yourself half way through a sleeve of cookies that you may not feel your greatest if you eat the whole sleeve.
Examples of appropriate boundaries around food/health:
- Spend less time on your phone/less time being sedentary (which impacts your energy level, self-confidence and hunger)
- Get to bed on time (which impacts your hunger)
- Avoid mindless eating
- Stop when satisfied, not when I’m stuffed
- Don’t eat sweets before having a balanced meal
- Avoid foods/beverages that interrupt your quality of life
- Eat regularly to avoid getting ravenously hungry
What is a healthy boundary you have with food or one that you plan to start incorporating? Tell me in the comments below!
I’m here for you and I believe in you <3
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